Back, due to no demand whatsoever:
Why?Boy Returns
Scene 18 Int. A stone corridor leading to an iron door.
Two henchmen stand before the door,
dressed all in black and armed with sten guns. Why?Boy comes around the corner
and stands before them.
Henchman1:
Don’t come any closer Why?Boy.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman1:
‘Cause we got orders to keep you out.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman1:
‘Cause our boss don’t want you in here.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman1 (starting to sweat):
‘Cause you might stop him taking over
the world.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman1:
Ah! I can’t takes much more.
Henchman2:
What you waiting for? Shoot him Reg.
Henchman1:
I can’t Larry. It’s his incessant
question what’s making me lose me mind.
Henchman2:
Stay back now ya hear Why?Boy? Stay
back or I’ll shoot.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman2:
To stop you getting in here.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman2:
‘Cause that’s what I’m paid to do.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman1
See what I mean, Larry? It’s incessant.
Henchman2:
Now look, I was in jail see for
robbery. Henchman is the only job I could gets.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Henchman2 (eyes starting to bulge):
It’s the heartless system, see. An old
lag like me don’t stand a chance against the, the, the system.
Henchman2 screams and blow his brains
out. Henchman1 quickly follows. Why?Boy steps over the bodies and advances
through the door.
End Scene.
Scene 19 Int. Study beyond the iron door, wall to wall books and a desk
and an assortment of chemistry equipment in one corner. The rooms comes to a
point with two window either side.
Fools Top is making the final
adjustments to the rocket he will fire into the reservoir to pollute London’s
water supply. He doesn’t look up as Why?Boy approaches.
Fools Top:
Somehow I didn’t think it would take
you long to get past the guards Why?Boy. I suppose you think you going to stop
me.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Fools Top:
Why indeed.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Fools Top(looks up):
You’re not so tough, Why?Boy. The
rights answers to your questions are enough to render you powerless. (Why?Boy
makes to speak) Why?
Why?Boy:
Why?
Fools Top:
Why?
Why?Boy:
Why?
Fools Top:
Why?
Why?Boy:
Why?
Why?
Why?
Fools Top:
I think he’s caught in a loop.
Fools Top laughs manically as Why?Boy
sags and looks crestfallen. Fools Top reaches into a drawer in his desk and
takes out a Luger. He aims it at Why?Boy. He makes to pull the trigger, then
stops and circles the gun illustratively in the air as he speaks.
Fools Top:
I want you to know that I’m not an evil
man, Why?Boy. Usually I wouldn’t kill anyone so young as you, but you’ve
delayed my plans too many times and I can’t have you stopping me now. Not when
I am so close.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Fools Top:
Nice try Why?Boy. But allow me to
answer a question with a question: Why not?
Fools Top levels the gun at Why?Boy
just as two more children, a girl and a boy, enter through the door and stand
side by side with Why?Boy.
Fools Top:
What’s this? How Do Lad and Whatev's
Girl. But I saw you die.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
Fools Top staggers backwards at these
words, hands to his temples, gun still in his hand. The three caped crusaders
step forward as one.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
Fools Top:
Argh! No, stop you fools, stop.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
Fools Top staggers towards a window,
topples out and falls to his death.
How Do Lad (nods):
How Do Lad.
Why?Boy:
Why?
Whatev’s Girl(shrugs):
Whatev’s.
The three break into a musical routine
to the tune of Morecambe and Wise’s Boom, Oo, Yatta-ta-ta (Whatev’s, Why,
How-Do-Lad). Why Mother Why? (Cilla Black) released from the dungeon by
Whatev’s Girl and How Do Lad appears to sings the main tune.
End Scene
