Friday, 9 September 2016

The Paternity Pay Sketch


An official looking office with the feel of a scientific institute. Two men are present. One man sits behind an oak desk. The other stands in front of him, palms on the desk as he speaks.

Standing Man: I mean they call it paternity leave, but you don't get paid for it, you just get 2 weeks minimum pay. Women get 6 weeks full pay. It's unfair. It's unfair to men. Where's the equality in that I ask you?

Man at Desk [thinks for a moment]: No, no you're right, that is disadvantageous to men.

Standing man is pleased with this decision. The man behind the desk gets up and goes to a blackboard. Only the right half of the blackboard is initially in shot. Written at the top of the board is the title: 'Things That Are Disadvantageous to Men'. Written in chalk are two five bar gates and three single strokes. The man adds a fourth stroke to the latter group. The rest of the side of the board is empty.

The camera pans left, to the other side of the board, titled: 'Things That Are Disadvantageous to Women'. This side of the board is full of five bar gates, many written over others in different coloured chalks. The camera continues to pan left to reveal two further blackboards and a whiteboard on wheels that have been stacked at one corner of the room and are full. Someone at some point has started writing five bar gates on the wall, but quickly discarded this method, in favour of a piece of paper pinned to the wall that unravels to the floor in curls and continues under the door and outside into the corridor. Both sides of the paper are crammed with five bar gates.

The paper reaches the main entrance and the camera continues outside, following more chalked five bar gates on the ground, with children adding more. The camera pans up to reveal two enormous monoliths of stone dominating the skyline, with a third in construction, each more massive than the rest, each marked with hundreds of thousands of five bar gates arranged in the pattern of five bar gates. Finally, markings on the surface of the moon are seen, with a rocket taking off from the ground.

End Scene

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