Saturday, 23 October 2010



(written with John)

From the night that depression reached its peak, I awoke and became alive. All my doubts are cast aside as I become 'the watcher'. Take from me what you will, this is who I am, this is my life. I will no longer try to prove to you, rule you, or even hurt you. I am beyond that now. I have seen too much for you to control me anymore. You will not stand in my way. Emotion is my escape, my release.

I am not confused,
I am not insane,
I am reborn.



A new dawn, a new life.
Chase all your dreams with passion,
Never let them go.

We can all find what we need to make our lives complete,
With time; with patience; with effort.
And when at last our humble existences are fulfilled,
we can transcend the pain and tears that cross our paths
and permeate our lives.

They are but a small price to pay.

 Marching to the Rhythm of Change

I can hear the incessant tapping,
Of your dogma, beguiling, stamping,
My ideals, in dirt trampling,
Freedom's ringing, enticing, daring.
First the quiet, then the rocket,
Now no longer am I puppet,
To your lies, truth's ecstatic,
 Purpose calling, pronounced, emphatic.

Preach to nothing, created something,
Power's wings, flying, soaring,
Violent passion without warning,
Heart's a river, swelling, bursting.
Genius in perpetual eruption,
How to end this mass corruption,
To paradise, another Eden,
Knowledge without pretence, wisdom.

In the storm, I see another,
Lost, alone, without shelter,
Provide the spark, strength to muster,
One more angel, another fighter.
Now 'tis we who come a tapping,
Tear down walls, trampling, stamping,
Face the dawn, we're a leading,
No more victims, no more pleading.


In the darkness there is a light,
A blazing torch to keep the black at bay,
Within its glare can I dream of hope, of calm.
'Tis the light within your heart,
Which guides the way to better futures,
Shows the dream become reality.
So, let the God's gaze down upon our mortal earth,
And see that there is one amongst the crowd greater than they.
He who could destroy there worlds, he and I are one,
My kin, my brother, my friend.

Oh Lady, Dark to but the Brightest Flame

Oh Lady, dark to but the brightest flame,
My heart, it boldly strides into your lair.
And all the signs of danger warn in vein,
For I alone may plumb your depths; with care.
Oh Lady, legend known throughout this land,
Yet rarely seen or heard or found. You pounce,
And I am taken, bound, by your cruel hand.
To you, my fate, I give my every ounce.
Oh Lady, Goddess, shimmering queen, your
Radiant glow distorts the air around,
Your form, from heavens hewn, I must endure.
My consummation comes without a sound.
My Lady tamed, breaks forth into the night.
My Lady healed, a thousand times burns bright.


Trying, living, singing, dancing, loving, calming, soaring.
Dreaming, thinking, talking, listening, helping, creating, uniting.
Yearning, flowing, brimming, burning, freeing, changing, growing.
Exploring, lifting, forging, driving, forcing, laughing, winning.

Fearing, crying, screaming, hurting, haunting, drowning, melting.
Crawling, choking, breaking, cracking, blaming, lying, inflicting.
Enraging, shouting, beating, bleeding, wanting, needing, failing.
Sickening, dimming, killing, dying, rotting, ceasing, nothing.

And now you know who I am.

When You Fell

When you fell, keystone to a concrete kin,
A kind light died, in jaundiced, drowning woe.
The stars came crashing sad; a sickening din,
The heavens wept, rained tears to soak below.
When you fell, gasping for one final breath,
To tell a boy of terminal regret,
And with a sigh, to passing, peaceful death,
He howled with hurt to emotional debt.
When you fell, no more eyes to shine with pride,
Two sons did orbit near a common rift.
One lost in grief, a war waged deep inside,
And one in space, from friend’s black night to lift.
He too that lost a father, stands to tell,
We grow in stature each day since you fell.


I swim in a redundant pool of crimson despair, mind awash to the bold, barren wasteland of hypodermic nausea, to cut a swathe through the razor blade precision of isolation and cooled to the numbing certainty of a yawning chasm, a spiritless void, my curse; my folly; my existence.

These are my fears, daydreams of grandeur that exist in but the mind eye, passionate kingdoms where none are to be found, nor even I, and what's left to do when faultless clarity is all that I have and ears bleed from the silence.

None else swim here and none will, for I am a creature of habit, a habit of addictive self destruction, deprived of even the energy to engage this agony and all that's left to do is sink, drown in the becalmed mistress of singular euphoric demise. And none being in attendance, none will grieve, none will care, not even I, for this is the way of things. To achieve but one terminal ambition, as all others are lost to the black.


Inception, the angelic thought, cornerstone to the stars, blazing trail through mirth and mirk. Into the wind breaks the howl, shattering the peace, reverberating through the yawning chasm which separates this life from the next, fuelled by the fire which burns within, eternal; immutable. Scratch at corrupted soil, sniff the stagnant air. Coercive desecrater of all things pure, did it need to end in this sterile crime? Succumb to winter, the soaring realm is not your domain. Only the immortals may pass this way, to transverse the storm in the wake of beating wings.


Glittering scintillation, only the mother of all things pure has dominance here. Virgin shores, for virgin orbs. Shrill promises call from the still air, salient whispers perched in a flawless sky. Autocracy foreign, perfection exclusively the right of the Gods. Without a voice, there is no evil which can disrupt this serenity, the utopia which inhabits us all.

Near and Far

Who amongst you can say they know another? Truly know I mean. Not settle for or tolerate. Someone who through the fog which separates individuals can be seen for who they truly are. For through the haze, trust can radiate and love warm, until a balance is reached and one property shines brighter than all the rest: acceptance.

It takes effort you know. It doesn’t happen over a week or a month. It takes years. Battles won and lost. Shared experience. A semblance of perspective brought to the world on that slow march towards dawn. Differences granted illumination. Common joy; common grief. When times are low, a distance forms and the mist reasserts itself. The bond stretches. Tenses. Yet when that oh so sweet balance approaches unity, who can say where you begin and they end?

Loneliness is not a fact of life. It is but a choice. A stubborn refusal to allow the guard to drop. Perceived as strength, it is in reality the epitome of cowardice. Weakness. To reject intimacy is to fail life at its first hurdle. The universe is too vast and cold a place to be faced alone. Already too much distance. Humanity was not meant to live in a vacuum. And in the absence of amity, fear must fill the void.


With each new dawn I grow stronger. No longer destined to fumble naively for intangible realities, I feel my grip tighten on a deep sense of awareness. The writings of others fuel the fire, a tome of personal philosophy, transformed for my own. Emergence of wisdom, strength in abundance, enough to confront an entire universe.

Ode to Beauty

Oh calm, reassuring light, do not flicker.
Not now in pale dawn's blue breath.
Blaze once more, dazzle with radiant elegance,
Burn bright, with love, with hope, with fire.
With strength's last ounce, fight our noble cause,
Curse the dark and all who dwell within.
For you are the never diminishing harmonious unity.
Fluent and compassionate. Potent, intense; free.

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